A cold and better place.

Ugh I guess I’m being lazy to write another post because of the weather – sarap lang matulog sa kama or umidlip sa work [hehe]. It’s been soo cold! Takte parang nasa loob ng fridge! One time I even felt I drank too much slurpees! Like 5 times in a row.. haha Sakit sa ulo! Pero winner ang moment kapag magsasalita ka sabay umuusok! Panalo tila ba ika’y nasa NY! Waaa pero ang hirap pa ren.. Di naman kasi ganito ka-extremes ang weather saten. At eto pa! Nagiging pasaway na ren si haring weather ha – kagabe sobrang lakas na naman ng ulan! With matching kulog at kidlat at baha! Pilipins istatchu??! Lakas mu magtrip pare! Panalo!! Di na kinakailangan ng AC sa bahay! [:

Naisip ko tuloy gusto ko ng bulalo mamayang lunch. Haay. Anlayo nga lang ng mabibilhan! Shet na malagket. E kung champorado na lang at tuyo! Yown. Nakakamiss na tuloy si daddy. Naalala ko nuon kapag umuuwi ako ng Cardona galing Manila – ai nako prinsesa ang lola mo! Haha Pero hindi lang naman ako, samin lahat na magkakapater ganun siya. Siya kasi ang Master Chef. Sarap magluto kesa kay mommy [peace yo!]. Pero tanggap naman ni mommy na mas masarap talaga magluto si daddy kesa sa kanya. Nakakamiss din pala siya. Hindi naman kasi ako/kame ganun ka closeness ang level pagdating kay dad. Sabi nga baka dahil may “generation gap” na kame. Siguro nga. Pero di pa naman huli ang lahat di ba. Isa rin siya sa one of the many reasons why I want to go home. I want to get closer to him than I am now. Sabi nga nila, it’s never too late di ba. Ewan ko ba.. Kahit na andameng hasel na naidulot nya sa buhay nya, buhay mag asawa nila ni mommy, o pagiging tatay nya samen – hindi nawala ang pagrespeto ko dun! At never. As in never ako nagtanim ng galet sa kanya. Lagi ko sinasabe sa sarili ko idol ko si mommy. Pero minsan sumagi din sa utak ko na siguro idol ko din tatay ko kahit papano. Biruin mo, lahat ata ng talentong meron ako e nanggaling sa kanya! He draws a lot better than me. If he became an architect I know he could’ve done magnificent types of structures or if he became a painter he must’ve sold a million bucks now! Shet. Milionaryo na sana kame noh! [: Or he could have had a career in music! Naalala ko date, cia ang nagturo saken kung pano mag gitara. Pag meron akong gusto isipra pero ayaw magpasipra saken sa kanya ko binibigay! Shet. Di-yos si daddy pag dating sa pagsisipra! Papakinggan lang nya yun nakukuha na nya! Kahit yung nota ng nahulog na tinidor kya nya hanapin ang tipa sa gitara. Shet di ba. Parang ayoko na tuloi sabihin dito na magaling din cia kumanta. Ampf. Ayun pang chef din ang beauty nya! Tas anu pa ba.. mashado ko na ba ibinebenta ang daddy ko? Hehe di na po siya naghahanap ng trabaho! Retired na po ang tatay ko at isa ng “senior citizen”! So, di na siya puedeng maging josto! Hahaha jowk. Kaya hindi ko rin naman maipagkakaila na sa kanya ako nagmula. Pati ang pagiging malakas sa inuman mukang sa dugo din nya! Haha and plus I got his looks. All of us four. Kamuka ni daddy! Mukang panda! Haha May ipapamana lang eh yung kelangan pa ng surgery! Hmpf. Ironic it is, all I know is I am too blessed to have him as my father and if it weren’t for him edi wala ako rito. Thanks dad!

Kaso minsan naisip ko ren. Bat ganun? Parang yung mga naipamana nya saken e pahapyaw lang? Bat sa kanya all out tas pag dating saken kakarimpot? Andamut naman. Ganun ba talaga kapag bunga ka na lang? Hanggang jan na lang dapat at di mo makukuha ang lahat? E bat siya? Andaya naman. Haay. Hanggang buntong hininga na lang siguro muna. Hanggang sa maisip ko kung anu nga ba yung para saken. Yung bagay na kahit anong gawin ko o kahit na kakarimpot lang kikitain ko e magiging masaya ako. Mejo malayo pa kasi ata yun sa katotohanan ngaun eh. Hindi ko parin nakikita. Hindi ko parin naaabot. Minsan hindi ko na rin alam anu nga ba ang pangarap ko. Ano nga ba ang gusto ko. Ano nga ba ang direksyon na dapat ko tahakin. Hindi ko alam.

Ikaw alam mu na ba?

Buti ka pa. . .

Sana ako ren.

Balang araw.

Ang Sanrok sa Ringring*

Our very own version of boodle fight! Kakamiss na ang pagkain ng sabay-sabay, sa "rahon" ng saging, may ulam na adobo [sitaw man o karne], may mainit na kanin, tas nakakamay, tapos sa tabing "ragat" ang lokasyon. Talapp!!

miss ko na rin ang mga taong madalas ko kasama sa budel payt pati na rin sa tanyag na palapag!

kaya Gm to the maxx na mga kabishow!! [:

tartaran na!!

Gang sa muli natin pagkikita at pag bubudel payt!

**Rahon at Ragat - ay siya rin namang katumbas ng mga salitang dahon at dagat sa tagalog pero kung taga-Cardona ka lahat ng salitang nagsisimula sa letter "D" ay napapalitan ng letter "R".

wala lang. [:

WTF*

1. Global economic crisis.

Whether in Dubai or Pinas or wherever you might be, at some point or the other we are all affected with the crisis that is happening now. I am not much of an economist and I am really not certain of the occurrence of such. But with the news that I’ve heard and read, all I know is that it started when the US had changed its government, then the banks have closed, loans were limited, and a lot of employees were then unemployed.

Last week, three of our laborers were already sent home and a lot are still lined up for cancellation. Exchange rates are low. Projects and constructions have been slowed down. Companies are already tight on their finances even cutting off the wages of their workforce. And some have totally closed.

What/who have caused all these? Is it true that this is just a cycle in the economy and will eventually pick up and become stable again? If so, how soon will it be? A week, a month, a year or two?


2. Conflicts.

I grabbed a Gulfnews while we were having coffee at starbs. It was depressing to see the photographs taken in Israel – pictures of innocent babies, traumatized children, mothers, fathers, and elders – all are victims of the war between Israel and Palestine. It was even disheartening when I read the contents of the newspaper. Some said that they were just in their homes when a rocket exploded or they were just about to visit a dead relative on their way to the hospital when something blasts and caught them unaware. Homes, schools, and even mosques are being targeted on a daily basis. Dead bodies are piling up and hospitals have been operating non stop. Everyone has their own stories – of losing either one of their legs or losing all of their loved ones.

I was curious the other day that I searched some information about the dispute. I wanted to know where it is situated, who are the parties involved, their motives, and their reasons for the attacks. Honestly, I was more confused upon my research! There are a lot of personalities involved as much as the rockets that have been launched, arguments that are unsettled a much as the civilians that have suffered, and a lot of ideologies as much as the ruins that are left . . .

I know back home we have the same stories. We have the same disputes. The same scenarios. People are killing people. People are stealing from people. People are hurting people. I do not know what went wrong all along but can we just settle and live a peaceful future – without guns, or bombs, or tanks, or anything that can harm people and die? Can we just resolve the issues in a more diplomatic way so that bloodshed will be over? Or we’ll just let wrath and greediness eat us all alive!?

May God bless the Holy City and all the cities of God!


3. Climate change.

There are a lot of signs that we cannot neglect around us these days. We are all feeling the effects of the abuse that we have caused our environment.

Before the winter season here Dubai, it rained for like a week or two which was improbable for a middle-east country. Kabayans that are here for the longest time told me that they are only experiencing rain only once every year. That week was a first! It caught this gulf country unprepared with the floods that arise because they do not have a drainage system like the ones we have in Pinas [though I’m not saying we have the best one], classes have been cut, and traffic built up.

In the news, I’ve read that the Aberdares in Kenya has also been experiencing climate change nowadays due to deforestation. They are now having droughts and some lakes are drying up. Some years back it was just raining three times a year but now they are only experiencing rains for a one month per year.

I presume we are all looking at the early warning signs of global warming and there are still a lot to happen if we do not act on being responsible owners of our own world. Planet Earth that is about to have frequent and unusual temperature changes, ocean warming-sea level rise-and coastal flooding, glaciers melting and both the antartic and the arctic will be warm. And will eventually have the impacts on us people who abandoned our own home which includes spreading of diseases, decreasing of animal and plant species, downpours-heavy snowfalls-and umm flooding, more droughts and fires.

And so, we can now choose how we want to die in the near future – starve to death, become sick, heat stroke or frost bite, burned or drowned. . Or we can start all simple acts now to help save our environment. And have penalties for people abusing the natural resources that we have.

I may not be the perfect citizen there is. But I know I am trying. [:

. . . . .


Yes, it’s been eight long months and a lot of things are happening in all parts of the world
and sometimes I feel like I have to be home before anything else come about!

sili song.

Miss ko na pinas! Parang yung walong buwan e poreber nah! ]: waa I’m terribly missing home..

Eto weird, imbes na naghahanap ako nga trabaho na maipapalit ko dito sa kung anu meron ako ngayon na muka ng malapit mabangkarote, magsara, at magsibalikan sa India tong mga kasama ko eh trabaho sa Pinas hinahanap ko! Hahaha [: Super jobstreet.com! close na nga kame ni ate Lina eh! [nax first name basis!] napaisip tuloi aku kung totoong pangalan nya yun or alias nya lang? o kaya anu kaya hitsura nya? Hehe

Nakakabaliw kasi dito magdadalawang buwan na ata ako “bum” - pero pumapasok pa rin naman ako at sumasahod [kahit ngayon na delay ang sahod namin]. Pero eto malupet.. Nung bagong taon, waa napaka tahimik! Ipinagbawal kasi nuong araw na yon yung pagpapaputok o pagiingay bilang pakikiramay daw yun ng mga gulf countries para sa giyera sa Israel. Kaasar. Kakaantok tuloi nung gabing yun. Kakamiss yung mga holidays sa pinas.. Napakasaya!

Naalala ko tuloi.. mukang dalawang buwan na rin ata akung di nakaka nomo. O tatlo? Ewan ko sa sobrang walang inom e nalilimutan ko na kung kelan pa yung huli ko. Shet na malagket! Kumbakit kasi napaka OA ng mga arabo. Abai bawal ba naman maginom sa kung saan saan kundi sa mga bar lamang. Di pa naman aku mahilig sa bar hopping. Mas masaya kasi yung tipong mag sa-shot lang kayu sa tindahan sa kanto o kaya naman e isasabay nyo sa walkathon ang pag ip-ip sa beer na malamig sabay ip-ip din ng lollipop na red!!! Yea! Sarap nun. Ang gara pa ng lasa ng redhorse dito. Abai talaga nga namang sumisipa kahit lagyan mu ng sang baldeng yelo. Sobrang pait! Isa pa, yung isang “in can” ng redhorse dito e katumbas na ata ng dalawang “in can” jan saten. Haha puera biro! Parang umorder ka sa Wendy's tas pina-biggie size mu yung drinks! hehe di ko nga nauubos isang lata nun dito e. Haha beri weird di ba!? Tas wala pang gin dito. Sayang.. sarap sanang kombo neto: gin - buhangin! Oye! [:

Tigang istatmi!? Hehe mejo! Sorry naman.. tao lang!


Kaya kakanta na lang ako.. lalala lala la


“so what am i supposed to do.. nababaliw na ata aku.. alam ku kasi siguru, I just wanna see you!!”


Sana mabuo ulet ang fatal posporos..

Flushed back.

I was chatting with Yeye on New Year’s Eve and she asked me how was 2008 for me. For her it was a bad year considering all that had happened – family problems and relationships and an accident if I may add. All I can say was - “it was a so-so for me”.

And so, let me refresh my memory if I can still remember some highlights of the year that has been!

Last year, Luine and I started it by moving from our little apartment in Santolan to a hippie one in a rooftop over looking the city of Mandaluyong which was sponsored by my mom [thanks to you we got rid of our former-psycho-hausmates!] and then eventually they [mom, maxx, and lala] joined us in the rooftops. That place is Love! It’s as if we were in a penthouse – though it’s more low-key! And it’s also cool that I was closer to the malls, ukays [hehe], sa palengke, pati sa church, and siempre sa work as it was the very reason why we had to rent there in the first place, not to mention I was also closer to my ex’s house but this was a different story!

Speaking of, it was my fourth month in Smedd and I was pretty busy with work because I had a stand alone supermarket to open soon which I think was already an overdue considering that it should have been completed by the year ends. It was my “baby” – as my fellow Do’s have coined it referring to the very first project that you handled, stayed late night OTs with, crammed for submissions and deadlines, brisk walked from building a to d to moa because manong shuttles were already off duty by the time we hit the chronolog machine, made you smoke a whole pack of ciggies, added layers of dark circles on my eyes, be scolded for late deliveries and orders or just be scolded for whatever reasons there were, work at home, work on holidays and just work. Nonetheless, it was all worth it! I have learned so much with the experience and I enjoyed it. Well at first.. Thus, after the first project I was given another one, and then another and another which held me up for having uplate inuman sessions, out of town trips, gigs and prax [my former bandmates hated me for this!], going back home, or just basically having a life outside of work! Good thing we still managed to have towers and coffees once in a while or even visit the carnival just outside the office – of course that happened after our ot hours were over or when the cat was away! [:

But with all work and no play made Tutay the laziest ass there was. It came to a point where I didn’t want to go to work and just stayed in the apartment and sleep. And get more sleep. I became a malingerer – because I had to cover up my absences. I became a non-malingerer – because I was really really sick. I became dishonest – because I had to create some convincing stories why I come late almost every single day and mrs. doubtfire irately asking where the hell I was. I became fraudulent – that I had to alter my ins in the chrono so there wouldn’t be questions asked. I was a mess. And yes I was fed up with work and with all of it.

Days passed and with all the rants that I have [pretty sure I’m not the only one], Jem called us. She left for Dubai last February - of course to seek greener pastures and be with Ser Jie who is now her fiancé [nice work Hubby]! She told us [Nic and I] that this certain company needs archi grads that can work with them. And all sponsorships will be covered by them. And that same day we can send them our CVs and a copy of our passports if we have. Swoosh! We were unprepared. We were not shocked at all. But we were speechless. We just gave each other the “yes” nod. And the next day we were lined up in DFA to get our passports. At that time, only three of us knew about it: me, Nic, and Jene. I haven’t even told it to my mom at first because I didn’t want to freak her out and I just told her that we needed passports at work. Eventually mom knew about it because we needed to get pieces of advice from her, enlightenment, and from my part I didn’t want to hide anything from her.

With all the hasels that we went through, I doubted that we can make it. God’s will was the only thing we that we can always say and pray. And after a month of preparations, Joan emailed us a copy of our visas and told us that we were booked on Cathay Pacific, 1100 hours, 4th of May, Sunday. That was the shocker!!! And it was already a Wednesday.

I only had four days to tell every one that I will be away. To some, I didn’t even have the guts to tell so as not to complicate things even more. And Yes, we had the greatest escape of all time! With every one telling us we were unprofessional, ungrateful, and irrational we took that flight. We took the risks and grabbed the opportunity. Nic had her own personal reasons and so was I. The next thing we knew we were in Dubai.

Of course, it was not easy and no one told me it will be but I was up for the challenge. New world. New work. Different people. Different languages. Different culture. It was time to adapt! It wasn’t that hard because I have friends here and a lot of kabayans very much willing to help another kabayan in need. I accustomed myself with everything – food, transportation, bus routes, vocabularies, currency conversions [haha], job timings, unfriendly and untidy foreigners [haha] and mostly the way of living. It was all fine until me and Nic had our first paycheck. Our employer didn’t give us the salary and benefits that we had agreed upon. And eventually we found out that he was covered with head-to-toe issues that are against the labor law of the UAE. We talked to him but he didn’t want to compromise so we decided to find another job. After a month of bumming around we end up with Jem’s company to fill in the posts that Kuya Carl and Kuya Gilbert had left, went to Kish to have our visas changed, learned 3ds max, and spend our everydays together. Lucky us we were then inseparable!

Months went on and on. I was settled and busied myself with work so that I could fill in the homesickness that I have been carrying around and the sadness that I have every time good news and bad news were being told to me via email. Maybe it was all so sudden or maybe it was just all part of it. Papa Nald once told me that he was here for three years now but he was never used to it. He still misses home as much as I do! So I just live it one day at a time, I have Nic and Jem and sometimes Ann anyway so we helped each other plus the family that I have here were terrrific so what the heck! [:

Until one day the past crawls back again from me. Things that were unsettled before I left. And thought it would be better to leave things the way they were so it won’t complicate things even more, feelings that I had to set aside so I can move on, and someone I neglected to see and thought I can get over with easily. But He kept looking for me and never gave up. He finally knew where I was when I replied to one of his emails, gave him the mobile number that I’m using here, sent an SMS, checked his remaining balance, and poof! It cost him 15 bucks! He knew I was in Dubai then. But he was cool with it and never asked me why I didn’t even say goodbye. He told me it didn’t matter so he managed to constantly check on me as long as there are a lot of mediums that he can use to reach me. So the uberly cautious person that I am, I knew this was something – something good but complicated and weird, something that makes me smile and worry but definitely makes my heart race all the time! This feeling that I chose not to feel before I left so I can live a normal life while I am away just kept coming back! I figured. I know I am about to make one of the biggest risk of my life. And I took it! Considering how we left things maybe there was really something special between me and Mems. Something that is worth fighting for even in the farthest places or the most difficult situations!

So in the latter, it was all about survival, beating homesickness away, trying to be close to home as much as possible, more weeping, missing and longing. The year 2008 had thought me a lot of experiences and had given me my “firsts”.. It allowed me to explore my horizon, knowledge, and visions. I lose friends along the way but I gained more. It gave me a lot of emotions that made me stronger and made me believe that someone out there is guiding me all along.

It was one hell of a roller coaster ride! And if ever I am about to live my life again I’m pretty sure I want to go through all these again – it was a so-so but it was unbelievable! [:

And who knows what will 2009 be like..

will it be the day that i finally come home for good or even for bad..

will it still be as crazy as the last one..

or will i still be here looking for different adventures in life..

i am sure you'll be surprised!